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Re: 23, never had sex or relationship, sad about it

Posted by Mary Ann on March 11, 2001, at 13:14:08

In reply to 23, never had sex or relationship, sad about it, posted by PhoenixGirl on February 23, 2001, at 18:12:05

Hi PhoenixGirl,
I think I was somewhat in your situation several years ago, where I thought I had to be in a relationship to be a "real" person, and none of my relationships were healthy. Jumping into a sexual relationship (which I almost always did) was the worst thing I could do, especially because most women put more feelings into a sexual relationship than most men do (Note that I said MOST, not ALL).

My husband, who has the patience of a saint (most of the time), could not fill and did not want to be expected to have to fill that void in my life. So after I went for depression treatment almost three months ago, I have felt this void in my live becoming filled, but just a little. Since you have social phobia (something from which I suffered for years!) you might want to just take small steps. Get involved with a church group if you are religious, or book clubs, or reading to kids at the library, volunteering at nursing homes (older people are wonderful!), an animal shelter, or join a bowling league (which I did), or do anything in which you are interested that helps to get you out of the house. These types of things, done in groups, usually help to make you feel safe, because there is usually one or two people that you can feel that you really relate to. These types of groups can also be the basis for developing lasting realtionships. I feel I have control over my life much more so than I felt years ago.

Regarding your meds, I was originally on Prozac, which killed my sex drive, and my doctor switched me to Serzone, which has given me back my sex drive and restored many of the feelings that Prozac turned off, but I am having trouble sleeping with it. I would not recommend taking Yohimbe, because even though it is a "natural" product, it can raise blood pressure to astoundingly high levels and can cause stroke or even death. It's kind of like ephedra in that respect.

Good luck to you, please keep in touch.
Mary Ann


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poster:Mary Ann thread:4800
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