Posted by Neal on December 31, 2000, at 13:18:17
In reply to Do people think you're weird or different?, posted by Sandee on December 2, 2000, at 18:33:59
This message is for the men on the board.
I was going to start this as a separate topic someday, but will just mention it now, as it relates to this thread.
I want to talk about this issue from a different angle, and this does not mean to take away from the artistic and spiritual posts preceding.
In the book "Listening to Prozac" the author relates the stories of how his patients had respoded to the (at the time) new SSRI's.
Then he has some chapters on studies of monkeys in groups. I found this to be more illuminating that the SSRI material. In these monkey groups, the male monkeys with low serotonin, or if the scientist has taken the new born and raised it in isolation, then re-introduced it to the group; - these monkeys are always picked on, dominated, beat-up etc., to the point where they sometimes have to leave the troop.Well, this is my message to the males on this board. You know damn well this applies to homo sapiens as well. My apologies to those of you who are religious, but my thesis is based on the fact that we are "smart monkeys".
And as males, especially if you had early-onset depression with a social anxiety aspect, you know you had to face the same kinds of behaviors in male groups, - classrooms, sports teams, military, guy groups in general. And then later in life, comes the work group, profession, corporation, job, what have you. There, you face the same thing all over again. Any of this sound familiar, guys?
In that last 2 years there have been several threads where guys have talked about their troubles at work, getting fired, finding new jobs, etc. Why does this happen? Because any group of humans is comparable to what happens in a monkey troop, ie., the dominate or alpha males grab the power and proceed to badger and humiliate the other males. Of course this is done in subtle ways, if in say, a corporate structure, but it is still done. Any of this sound familiar? Are there exceptions? Yes. If you have special skill or a genius at what you do, poet, artist, techno-geek, scientist etc., -then you will have a special pass out of this pecking order.
It's just that I haven't seen a thread by the men on this board about these issues specifically. But it's something we have to face every day. Have you ever been passed over for a promotion at work? Have trouble holding a job? No one talks to you at the office party? Have trouble talking to women? Been insulted by other men? It's the animal in us. They can sense the depression. (Of course in their minds it's not depression; it's weakness, something to be exploited).
I don't mean to paint a picture that's overly bleak; life has many facets, and this is but one, but it's an important one.
Be interested to know what the other men on this board think. Does any of this sound familiar?
poster:Neal
thread:3395
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3639.html