Posted by Racer on November 1, 2000, at 22:25:11
In reply to Re: Our Significant Others, posted by coral on November 1, 2000, at 7:56:48
> On your thoughts about fear of death, I felt exactly the same way and I don't fear death. However, I found myself in the ER with tachycardia and was stunned with my own profound desire to live. Shocked the blazes out of me.
>
> I'd like to know your thoughts.
>
> CoralYou know, Coral, I had an epiphany about that some years ago:
I lost the man I had always known I would one day marry -- the only man my mother ever said she'd accept as a son-in-law, as it happens. We'd grown up together, he was my first crush, etc.
He was killed in an accident, diving. It was beyond devastating.
What came into my mind was that the fear which always kept me from doing dangerous things was based on my unhappiness. He was able to take the risks involved in the diving because he was happy, content, and able to experience life in the moment -- rather than feeling as though his life was on hold because he was miserable.
Since then, I've made more efforts to live now, rather than later. Not always successfully, but it has changed my views a lot. Some dangerous things I've left off: I never rode a motorcycle again, sold mine eventually. I don't jump as high as I used to. I no longer get on the real bad actors, no more 'riding the bucks out' for anyone. I've learned the joys of lunging the bucks out, first!
But I've also learned to feel the times when I'm terrified because there's something left unfinished in my life. Times when something is unsaid, and making me frightened of the world. I try to say or do what needs to be done at those times.
I'm not explaining that well, but it does help me. I hope somewhere in there you can find the meaning, and that it helps you!
poster:Racer
thread:1864
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/1966.html