Posted by Rzip on October 19, 2000, at 20:43:19
In reply to J'ai touché le fond de la piscine-more random stuf, posted by noa on October 19, 2000, at 17:33:54
> Noa,
It is absolutely amazing that you still recall all that French! I have to take a 2nd language as part of my undergraduate degree. I finished the required one year of French (I also took two years of French in high school); but I flunked the proficiency exam that is required to graduate from college. So, now before I graduate from college (I am a 3rd year right now), I have to pass this exam! I hate French! since being a 3rd year, I want to concentrate on my major--Biology. Anyway, I am getting off the subject...I want to tell you the irony is that I got relatively good grades in my French course here: (A, B, B+); but we have to take this proficiency exam in addition to the courses. To this day, I still do not know why I did not pass this exam since I just assumed that by taking the French one-year course, IT should have prepared me for the exam. I mean, why should I exert myself over a discipline (foreign language) that is not in my current interest. I have enough trouble getting through my concentration course as is. Now, I will probably have to study on my own over the Christmas break and then take the test right at the beginning of my 2nd quarter of college next year. Oh, I am still not getting to the point that makes this story relevant to the purpose here...
Here it goes...when I received the news via e-mail this past summer that I did not pass this exam (one needs to get a score of 70 or above; and I got 60.5), I was actually in a very depressive mood at that moment already. It took a great deal of focus and determination to not loss myself at those moments. Of course, by the stroke of great luck, I got a great summer job a couple of days after receiving the French exam results. So, I got out of my depression pretty fast afterwords. Since I still have the exam hanging over my head, it still bothers me a great to think about it. One might think this whole situation in so trival. But not for me. My 1st therapist explains it to me this way, I put my whole self-esteem on stilts of academia. It is so true! If I trace my past history of episodes, they all are triggers by poor performance in schoolwork. Now I realize that I probably got through high school purely on the tails of those teachers who praise me, and the teacher's pet phenomena. That would explain my bad inferior view toward students, a topic that I brought up in my very 1st post. Anyway, the problem is that my whole self-esteem is measured by the roller-coaster of academic performance. Which brings me to my current situation, I have two midterms back-to-back tomorrow. I have been stressing over them all week, but unfortunately I just sat down to actually study for them tonight...I haven't even read the most of the textbook for one of the course yet. I sort of falsely explained to myself that I understood the material in lecture. I do not know why I fool myself like this. You know, in high school I used to be such a "good student". But now I realize that I studied purely with the intention of praises from my parents and teachers. Now, in college I do not have those support systems, so I got lost...really lost. Now, I am just starting to build myself on a firmer ground, so that I will not be knocked over by the stilts of academics.
Whew, it feels nice to get that off my chest. Puts new perspective into my studying tonight. Even through it is only 8:00 right now, I have already slept for the night. I plan to pull an all-nighter. Luckily, it will be Friday tomorrow. But I probably have to work 8+ hours on Saturday in lab, that is if I haven't been fired or something. Earlier this week, I e-mailed my boss that I want to cut back on work during the school year. I was supposed to go to work on Tuesday, but I did not (I sort of tried to study for one of the exams tomorrow (wasn't really productive). I felt less pressure then than I do now, the night before! I have not heard back from my boss yet. I hope he understands the dilemma of work/study. Ah, why do I put myself in this kind of situation. I feel so guilty since I figured I should know better being a 3rd year and having taken medical leave of absence after my 1st year. It makes me feel so very very bad to be in this kind of situation. I associate it with my psychiatric problem (whatever it is); so just by definition of that, it makes me feel so bad and guilty. The students in my Biology concentration are very competitive! Mostly declared pre-meds.
- Rzip
I don't speak French but this made me remember my one semester, a godawful boring semester, of high school French, with a kooky teacher who used to talk to the empty desk of absent students ("alors, Jacques, tu e malade aujourdui?", etc.)
>
> The reason for my rather loose association here is that we used a book that made you repeat and repeat these quirky little dialogues (forgive my spelling):
>
> 1st lesson:
>
> -Christine e la?
> -Non, dans la piscine.
>
> That is all I remember of that one. The others, I remember more of, freaky tho that may be (this is 25 years ago):
>
> -Christine, ou e tu?
> -dans la cuisine, pourquois?
> -voulez vouz ver "Rondevouz a Berlin?"
> -eh, non, j'naime pas les film de guerre!
> -Mais, non! C'est un film d'espionage!
>
> and:
>
> -Michel, Anne, vous travaillaise?
> -Non, nous regardon la television.
> -Les Duponts arrive dans un heur.
> -S'il te plais, maman, encore cinque minutes!
>
> and, the first line of another lesson, set in a boys' boarding school:
>
> -Quesque c'est? Du la viand u du la soupe?
>
>
> Ok, isn't it quirky how the brain can store and retrieve this kind of thing ?
poster:Rzip
thread:1306
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001011/msgs/1340.html