Posted by Cindy W on September 14, 2000, at 9:58:58
In reply to Marriage Anxiety, posted by roo on September 14, 2000, at 9:42:25
> I recently broke off an engagement to a wonderful guy
> who I loved dearly. Something in me couldn't go through
> with it. It's been nearly 3 months, and I can't feel at
> peace with my decision, and I"m stuck: I don't feel I
> can go back with him, and be committed towards marriage
> (and marriage is something he really wants), and I'm
> having a very hard time letting him go. I get really
> anxious when I think about marriage, or going back to
> him and pressure of marriage being in the background for
> us. I don't know what to do. I think about it constantly
> and am getting nowhere. I've started praying because I'm
> at such a loss.
> I've sometimes wondered if this is related to my depression,
> and possible ptss issues--I've never felt this anxious in
> my life. I've always had the sleepy do nothing sort of
> depression, but it's switched to a restless, keyed-up
> anxious sort of state where I fear I might go nuts, and
> have to be committed or something.
> I've tried researching the internet on this subject--
> severe anxiety related to getting married, but I haven't
> found much--just the ordinary cold feet stuff--this is
> a lot deeper than just ordinary cold feet.
> Have any of you depression sufferer's out there experienced
> big time fear and anxiety regarding marriage?roo, have you tried seeing a therapist to talk out the issues about marriage that give you cold feet? People have different reasons for being ambivalent about marriage, from what I've read and experienced (fear of commitment, intimacy fears, sexual problems, inability to make decisions, etc.). You said it might be from ptss (Post Traumatic Stress?) but didn't specify what the trauma was; examining this in relation to your ambivalence about marriage would probably be good to talk out with a therapist you can trust. Hope this helps!--Cindy W (who is always ambivalent about everything, from OCD)
poster:Cindy W
thread:546
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20000813/msgs/547.html