Posted by zoey1122 on May 2, 2007, at 8:12:05
Hello!! I just really need other people's opinions on what I just went through in a relationship. Granted it was only 2 months, he practically did live with me the entire time. The problem is he had just come out of an unhealthy relationship where his ex treated him badly and rejected him. (Now I realize this is the type of girl he's probably attracted to where I have always been attracted to unavailable men like my father). Then he meets me and comes on so strongly and insists he's over his ex so I believed him and fell for him. It is a blue moon when I meet someone I feel chemistry with so you can imagine how excited I was, and for the first time in forever I wasn't scared off by the "nice" guy who was totally available.
I suffer from depression/BPD tendencies and think I was somewhat depressed when we were seeing each other because I was sleeping all the time (up to 13hr a night). However, it didn't seem to bother him too much, in fact he started encouraging me to wake up in the mornings to go running with him. So 2 months into the relationship I am blindsided by him just packing his things and moving out. I was mad at him for going to his boss's house the night before and not calling me telling me he wasn't coming home but I didn't think it was a deal breaker. So then I find out he called his ex a couple weeks ago and told her he loved her and thought about her every morning when he woke up. That killed me...devastated me. I am so hurt. And the thing is he wants to be friends with me and he's really sorry and says he cares for me deeply, but should I be friends with him since I feel used that he was on the rebound?? If tables were turned maybe I would have "used" someone to just to get rid of the pain. I am being "friends" with him now because of my rejection/abandonment issues I feel I would get really depressed and anxious if I told him I didn't want to talk to him again.
So I am just so confused, I became "addicted" to him and now he's gone and I just feel so belittled and can't believe he never had feelings for me. So my question to you guys is, does he deserve my friendship??? Shall I forgive and be friends or shall I move on and tell him what he did is not worthy of my friendship??
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for any advice!!!!!
poster:zoey1122
thread:755127
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/755127.html