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No Meds-New Relationship-BiPolar-Freaked Outed!

Posted by LisaF73 on April 20, 2007, at 23:15:43

I met the most INCREDIBLE guy 2 months ago and already the relationship is over. I don't know what I'm looking for someone to tell me. I mean, I know WHAT my problem is - I wasn't on my meds and I totally freaked out on him; the usual deal - I don't feel lovable and he was sweet and said all the right things and I didn't believe or trust him and I freaked out on him and pushed him away. I guess I need to find out if anyone has been through this and was able to salvage the situation or is it a matter of "bad timing" and it ends up being a "lost love" or a regret?

This is the ONLY guy EVER that I've felt "safe" with and now he's gone...not completely, though. I see or speak to his kids almost daily (his son is dating my daughter - go figure!), but I don't know if we can recapture what we had. He had said that I treated him how he wanted to be treated and that no other woman had ever treated him that way.

I hate being the way I am. I'm your typical bi-polar screwed up chic - bad childhood, bad relationships due to bad childhood, but basically made up for it (or at least tried to) by being an over achiever, good mom, hard worker, etc. But, I still feel unloveable and cannot come to terms with loving myself.

Well, now that I've written a book :) anything you can offer will be greatly appreciated! Luckily, I'm back on my meds and no longer crying my eyes out, but I'm still hoping and praying that I can do something or that something will happen or can happen.

Thanks!


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poster:LisaF73 thread:751826
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20070210/msgs/751826.html