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When happiness depends upon another person

Posted by DannaB on January 15, 2007, at 21:18:11

I want to be the sort of person who can stand on my own, who doesn't "need" another but instead has a healthy sense of independence. But it's not like this at all. For example, I usually see my guy on the weekend and then as soon as he's gone I miss him SO MUCH and just feel terribly lonely. (I'm feeling this lonely in a relationship--can you imagine how bad I felt when I was single??)

It's not that I am completely dependent--I am doing things on my own. For instance, I am in graduate school and I do have some friends. But my life just isn't fulfilling. I can only feel good about myself when I love someone and they love me. And even now, when I'm in love, I feel lonely when I can't be with him.

I don't know how to feel full and satisfied without another person. I know that everyone says how important that is to love yourself and be happy on your own, but I just don't know how.

Just when I start to feel better and to feel that I'm making progress, I realize how much work I have to do in therapy. Sometimes it feels like an impossible task.


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poster:DannaB thread:722724
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060920/msgs/722724.html