Posted by llrrrpp on September 17, 2006, at 19:45:17
My husband has heard (almost) all of my most shameful secrets. And he still loves me. And he wanted to show me. I refused last night, but then I didn't refuse today. And I kind of lost control. I don't like that feeling of losing control. I broke down sobbing afterwards and he hugged me and held me for an hour. But there is nothing in hugs or sex that is big enough or strong enough to heal me right now. I don't know what the point is of love when it's so clouded with sadness and shame and regret and rage and hatred. It seems like a mere pip-squeak. *peep* and then it's gone. Even though the earth shuddered. It's still just ... raw. hurt. I don't know where to go from here.
poster:llrrrpp
thread:686899
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060621/msgs/686899.html