Posted by zenhussy on March 24, 2006, at 20:38:10
In reply to Not really well versed in dating, posted by Asya on March 23, 2006, at 21:18:28
>>>I know this sounds strange, but for cultural reasons, I am not really used to western dating with all its uncertainty. I am 27 and have never been in a long term relationship. About 2 months ago, I ran into a man I worked with at an old job for about a year. He was with someone else then, but is now single. We were at a party of mutual friends. We ended up having dinner together the following week. We went out w friends again a few weeks later, talked on the phone a bit, and then he ended up coming over and spending the night. We didn't have sex, but almost did. After that, we both got busy and didn't see each other. It's now more than two weeks later and we'll probably spend some time together this weekend. I guess I don't know if we're dating, still seeing other people, exclusive, what? Is it too premature to have this convo given that we have only hooked up once really? HELP! Advice would be appreciated. For the record, I still want to see other people. I am not ready just yet for a serious relshp. I am really afraid of losing out on meeting other guys. Is this crazy?? Am I totally nuts?? Am I freaking out about nothing?<<<
our vote is "freaking out about nothing"....and here's why....
you're under thirty (lucky gal!) and have a great future out there meeting and greeting a buncha ppl over the next decade or so...unless you meet mister pitter-pat (and you generally know when meeting mister pitter-pat!) and get hitched should that be your life path.
until that time comes learn from the experiences of dating. some folks decide to never settle down in traditional marriage and have many happy ongoing dating relationships.....which take a lot of really honest communication from all involved to remain healthy where everyone is getting their relationship needs met.
use this time to learn what makes you happy in a relationship and what you want/need to meet your needs.
for now listen to that voice inside and use some common sense with regards to safety. have fun dating and meeting folks that catch yer fancy. learn what feels good for you. learn what feels right for you. learn what YOU want......which often comes at the cost of learning what you DON'T want...still a valuable lesson even if done the hard way. sometimes those blind dates with ppl you'd never consider otherwise turn out to be the starting point of great friendships and more. you just never know where you'll meet someone and you're of the age to be out and about mingling discovering what you like and who you like and why and etc. taking chances (with safety in mind) is part of life and an doesn't come with guarantees. life is risky. love is risky. but those who find it say it is worth it.
it has been said many times that to find a prince one must kiss a lot of frogs. maybe think of this as frog university....so that you'll KNOW your prince when you find him? ;)
as you date more you'll begin to learn your quirks and likes and dislikes and begin to feel more confident about what YOU have to offer these frogs as one of them might be seeking his princess. confidence in one's self is attractive
pls tc asya
p.s. even westerners have trouble with the uncertainty of dating in this USA culture....you're not alone there!!
poster:zenhussy
thread:623936
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20060220/msgs/624307.html