Posted by corafree on December 3, 2005, at 15:02:46
I have been sabotaging my loves ever since my heart was first broken.
I currently am so sad, crying all the time, wanting so badly to see or speak with the 'new' rainydayman.
Have you ever given so much of yourself to a person to help them, .. see them change for the better, and drop you like a cigarette butt?!
From where he was when I met him, .. he has grown up! He's actually a real grown up now!
And, now that he is, he doesn't want me anymore.
I am a reminder of his past.
And about love .. did I kill that too?
Along w/ killing his addictions, his unsanitary habits, his stealing, his lying, did I kill his love for me?????
Oh God .. why? Why? Why? Why can't anyone see that all I wanted to do was help them and STAY with me after they are better.
Why do you just always take them away???
I want this to stop. I ask forgiveness when I've made a mistake, I say I'm sorry if I've hurt someone, I'm a good girl! Why can't I have someone to show me I am lovable?????????????. I deserve. There has to be something, like some sign that I can't see that says 'don't go near this woman because she will try to make you a better person'.
I don't know what is wrong with me????
Pls pray for me you guys .. I'm so pitifully sad that I'm nearly inept!
I feel cheated. I feel sooooooooooooo unloved.
I miss my Dad! He passed away.
I miss my 'new' raindayman. He's leaving me forever!
I hate to fall asleep at night for wakening.
love, cf
poster:corafree
thread:585057
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/585057.html