Psycho-Babble Relationships | about interpersonal relationships | Framed
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Re: Lovers or friends or nothing? » coachdee

Posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 17:29:41

In reply to Lovers or friends or nothing?, posted by coachdee on October 21, 2005, at 12:14:52

I’m sorry it hurts. It sounds like a horrible situation to be in.

Did his significant other find out about you? She might have told him to stop speaking to you.

Or perhaps he's decided to renew his commitment to her as an exclusive thing, and he doesn't want to blur the boundaries by being friendly with you.

I think he should at least give you an explanation, but people don't always do the decent thing. And the 'other woman' often loses out in situations like this.

I'm sorry your friend doesn't seem to have the integrity to talk to you honestly.

I think you have two options. You can either contrive to meet him somehow and ask why he seems to be avoiding you, or you can decide he has breached the terms of your friendship and resolve not to speak to him again.

But I’m sorry to say I think it sounds as if he’s decided it’s over between you.

If I were in your situation I’d probably feel pretty angry. And even as the ‘other woman’ you’re still allowed to feel angry when your partner isn’t honest with you.

Do you have any friends in real life you can talk to about it – maybe people who know him?

Tamar



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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051002/msgs/570019.html