Posted by crazy teresa on September 28, 2005, at 19:20:45
In reply to Should I hate my mom?????, posted by woolav on September 28, 2005, at 18:06:21
The desicions that your mother has made were hers to make. Unfortunately you and your daughter have to deal with the consequenses of those desicions.
I'm happy to hear you decided to get the hell out of that situation. As long as your mother stays with him, you need to do what is best for you and your daughter. It sounds as if the best thing would be to stay away from them.
You don't have to be mean to them, just don't take the bait. If you and your mother can talk on the phone, meet to have lunch, whatever, without him, do it if you're comfortable. I would not buy into a poor me story from her. If she doesn't get treated properly, she should leave. I don't think I would ever be comfortable in his house. I would avoid contact from him completely. You are a grown-up and you deserve to be treated as one.
The thing that I would think long and hard about--do you want your daughter to think the way he acts is acceptable--something she should expect to put up with from the men in her life someday.
Maybe all this turmoil with him is what is affecting your daughter.
I would list him as former employer on your job aps, but if there is a box to check about them contacting him for a reference, leave it blank. Or somehow indicate you do not want him contacted. You do not have to list him as a reference contact.
You could also take the time to explain to a potential employer you were in a family business position which had gone bad. I would take that into consideration if I were hiring. We all have a weasel or 2 in our families!
If he is intentionally sabataging you with false references, you can sue him. That would really get him, wouldn't it??!!
poster:crazy teresa
thread:560740
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/560780.html