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H doesn't love me:(

Posted by kerria on September 13, 2005, at 8:48:37

tears. i have practically no relationship with h at all. tears
all he cares about is how much money i can give and i can't give much- it's too difficult to work because of migraines, chronic pain and not being organized to get there- i can't help it, really. It doesn't make any difference to try more.
He's so controling about everything- he thinks that i don't help with the little money i do make but i do- all of it goes to expenses- more and more than i ever used to give but i make less and less.
Disability is taking five years so far. The thing that hurts the most is that it's all about money for him. i know he doesn't love me anymore. tears
i literally have no one in my life that's an encourager- and everything is so hard, understatement. Everyone is critical and if i can even get to go to therapy T is critical and difficult also. He acts so distant- like if he gets near me he will catch DID, forgets that i'm a real person just like anyone else and i hurt a lot and no one is ever there for me IRL.
this is so not fun anymore.

We jump from person to person not because of a isolated trauma but because it's way to painful for one person to live in this place. tears. no one can ever love me because i'm so wounded and that's what i need most - like everyone else. It's too hard to live in a home when no one loves you there:(

tears
c.


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poster:kerria thread:554584
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