Posted by chinchilla on August 15, 2005, at 18:55:02
last night, about 1/2 hour after we went to bed, my boyfriend woke me up saying he needed to go home because he was having too much anxiety over projects he's working on and couldn't go to sleep and needed to go sleep at his own house - that i could go with him if i wanted. he said he needed to be in a safe place, that he wasn't used to my house, and he had to go to work in the morning so he had to go to sleep and he *knew* he wouldn't be able to sleep here - only going home would fix the problem.
i was less than thrilled, told him i wasn't going anywhere, and that i wanted him to stay. i have endometriosis and i was in pain and on vicodin - i've been very clear with him about that. i asked him not to leave me, to which he replied that he wasn't leaving me - he just needed to go. soon after, he agreed to stay. we talked for over an hour, and finally he calmed down, let me go to sleep, then fell asleep himself.
there have been a few other times recently that it seemed to me he was having an anxiety attack, and he admits he has problems with it. we've only been together for 2 months, and while he has a lot of good qualities, he's so focused on his internal state that the fact that he's effecting me doesn't seem to be real to him.
he's gone to a psychiatrist at least once on his own, but never followed through. i've dealt with anxiety and panic attacks myself, and i know he's not going to get better if he doesn't get help. i can't make him get help, but i can't stay with him if he won't, either. i told him this, and he got angry and said it was unfair of me to give him an ultimatum, that i can't tell him how to live his life.
that was this morning. i don't know what he'll say this evening, and i don't know if it can work out with us even if he does agree to get help.
i'm sad, but i don't know what else i can do? you can't make someone take care of themselves... is it possible for me to help him at all?
poster:chinchilla
thread:542100
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050814/msgs/542100.html