Posted by Racer on July 22, 2005, at 19:49:21 [reposted on July 24, 2005, at 16:03:49 | original URL]
In reply to Re: GG had really good advice for you, posted by rjlockhart98 on July 22, 2005, at 15:03:22
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> Racer, the sitation with my mom is extretrmly complicated. She pressures me that she says that she is my "caregiver", and i cant handle myself right now. She gets the doctor's side. I feel so trapped and mad, but i dont really last out at her anymore because she use that saying that im unstable. The reason im having flucutiations is because she control EVERYTHING. When i went to the pharmacy, i signed for my prescription, my mom let me. The Psyhisian (sorry) told me that it is private access to me. My mom said thank you bYE. My mom locks up my meds, mainly becuase she feels insecure becuase she feels that if she doenst control meds, or other things, she will lose it. I did at one time abuse my medication, my Adderall, but i no longer take that medication. I have to pray to God sometimes to help me get the med when i need it, in her closet with BOLTS on it. He has led the way, i am grateful for his mercy.
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> If i take my meds from my mom, she will call my doctor and say she feels not stable and i may abuse them, she uses that as a threat.
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> I have talked to counselors, everything we have gotten no where, she is just overpowering.
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> She sending me to collage, she paying for everything (exept for gas and books) which is good. But Racer this woman has a personality disorder that i dont know what, it is hidden.
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> What do you think of this situation?What do I think of this? Well, I gotta say that I wonder what your mother's side of it is. {shrug} That's just me: I like to get both sides of a situation, before I offer an opinion.
You know what, though, Matt? You sound as though you are in so much pain right now, I am going to offer my opinion anyway, based only on what you've described: that doesn't sound like a good situation to me. It sounds as though you feel trapped, and ineffectual, and as though there's no place you can turn for protection or support. That's a lousy place to be, isn't it?
I'm going to repeat my earlier advice: I think it's imperative for you to see the doctor alone, and to express some of this. If I were able to make my advice mean anything at all, I'd want to have both you and your mother in family counseling, so that both of you will have support in changing your mode of communicatng and relating to one another.
Failing that, Matt, you really need to look at becoming more independent -- even if that means finding a way to finance college on your own. I hope it doesn't mean that, but if it comes down to it, that might be best for you.
I've been reading a lot about "enmeshment" in families lately, and that's what this sounds like to me -- that you and your mother are locked into a dance together, one that prevents either of you from acting with true independence. Might be good for you to read a bit about that, too.
Good luck, Matt, and I hope things get better for you soon.
poster:Racer
thread:532840
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050724/msgs/532843.html