Posted by partlycloudy on July 5, 2005, at 10:10:07
I haven't been to see everyone since I was dx'd and stopped working. I used to have Major Issues with my mom not being very motherly, and have adjusted my expectations (OK, to zero!) and now I am beside myself in agitation in dealing with my brothers and their families. I went from not being able to effectively plan my trip because they couldn't tell me their plans - going to the cottage, being in town - to fielding multiple phone calls and getting all sorts of emails with wayyyy too much detail. I practically know when they are going to go to the toilet, OK? To go from no knowledge to too much is making me really anxious about going at all.
I can see that they care about me. I can see that I overreact to what I interpret as old behaviours on all our parts. My old coping ways of drinking myself into oblivion is no longer something I am willing to do. I am determined to have a good holiday.
I thought I knew where my boundaries lie with my siblings. I thought I knew how to assert myself without becoming self defensive and sulky. I feel like the kid sister again, being told what to do, and just like the kid sister, I want to run away from everything and hide with justyourlaugh!!
I'm giving myself migraines over this, folks. And understand also: although my brothers live in the same city, within 1/2 mile of each other, they don't communicate with each other. What am I trying to do here?
Whiningly,
partlycloudy
poster:partlycloudy
thread:523675
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/523675.html