Posted by alesta on July 1, 2005, at 11:33:15 [reposted on July 1, 2005, at 16:33:24 | original URL]
hey y'all. nice to be back, although i probably won't be able to post again for a while..i just really needed to share my recent torment with ya and get it off my chest. i have missed you guys, but haven't had computer access. things have been very, very difficult recently, but they always are.
i'll try and explain what happened since my last post about a month ago...bear with me..:)
let's see..while i was still staying at my mom's house, my ex called me a couple times and said he missed me, asked me if i was coming back, basically seemed interested. at that time i had no romantic feelings for him *whatsoever*. about a week after he called me i called him back and asked to stay at his house for a while. i wasn't interested in him at all at the time, but really didn't want to go to a shelter. he agreed, and picked me up, but was very cold. (his prozac had just kicked in..may have played a part) anyway, i had sex with him while living there and now i have feelings for him again, but he's dating someone else now. and being a total jerk to me. (i can't believe i'm telling you guys this very personal stuff.) i was already in a very fragile state and now am just out of my mind with sadness. i can't believe i actually want this jerk now. he brought his date over the night before i was supposed to leave and played music really loud, and she spent the night. i thought it was SO insensitive of him to bring a date over to the house when i was going to leave the next morning. i mean, he could've gone out somewhere with her or *something*. i wouldn't have done that to him. but then there are a trillion things that i would not do to him that he has done to me. anyway. he met her like 2 days before and they are already really involved with each other. she calls him like 5 times a day..it is driving me crazy...i can't believe i am in love with this jerk again. he was so horrible to me..beyond words..
i am leaving his house today. but am sad. and feel terrible about myself. i'm sure i'll get over him soon..i hope. i just needed a shoulder to cry on. thanks for listening...hope you made it through this post..appreciate your reading.:)
take care guys,:)
amy
poster:alesta
thread:522044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050627/msgs/522044.html