Posted by AdaGrace on June 13, 2005, at 9:23:30
Still having the same obsessive behaviors like doing internet searches, trying to find out the validity of the marriage. Looking at High School records just to see if I could find a picture of him when he was in school.
Apparently now I am thought of as a stalker. Phone # has been changed. But I haven't called in many many months. It was after the info popped up on her profile that I called, just to see if the answering machine would say "Hi, this is the home of Mr. & Mrs. Jerk, and we can't come to the phone right now so leave your name and number and when we get done, we'll call you back" But no, no answering machine. Only a "your call cannot be completed as dialed." Of course I did this incognito. It must come from the fact that I am not important enough to be told the facts straight out.
I have been written off the face of the earth. Have had no contact since Late January. I know I am not wanted. But for Heaven's sake.
Am I not even worth a "hey, how are you doing? Just wanted to let you know before you read it somewhere else, I got married last week. I know this information will hurt you, but I felt it would be better for me to tell you than you finding out some other way."
Having no validity to my past experience except what is in my own mind is just making me more insane. Just makes me think more and more that I imagined the whole thing. It was all a dream. But of course even though I know it was real, I made it into a dream, didn't I?
But do you know that in all of this, during all of this turmoil........I never got what I deserved.
I never got a message or a call that stated I was no longer wanted or needed. I had to get that on my own. I had a "I'll call you tonight" and that was it.
Now I ask all of you reading this pathetic display of stalkingness, is that the way to end a relationship? Is that how it's done?
Is that how a man with no consious deals with getting rid of someone they don't want anymore?
Gee I thought he was human with feelings. Apparently not. But guess what, I had (notice I said "had") more feelings than you sould shake a stick at. Just don't have them anymore. Can't muster up the will to feel much for anyone these days.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:511966
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050531/msgs/511966.html