Posted by TamaraJ on February 22, 2005, at 11:28:39
In reply to My mental illness means a man won't love me?, posted by PhoenixGirl on February 20, 2005, at 20:15:25
> I've worried about this for some time. I've had a history of serious depression and anxiety since I was a kid. I'm 27 years old, and I've only had one boyfriend. Very few dates. Very few friends. I'm afraid that it will be very hard to find a man who will want to be with me if I'm mentally ill. I sure won't find a man if I continue to isolate myself.
-- Isolating yourself isn't the answer, althought it does feel safe at times and ensures we avoid being hurt. In the long run, I think we hurt ourselves more by isolating too much. And, it isn't just about finding a man. It is about getting out, meeting people, and developing meaningful relationships with members of both sexes. Just taking small steps can be helpful. Striking up conversations with your neighbors, people at the bus stop, etc. Opening yourself a little bit. Just starting to feel comfortable interacting with others can be a good and rewarding thing. And, when you do meet the right guy, he will love you for you. Your mental illness is just part of the whole beautiful package.
My older brother's first wife (sadly she passed away) was bipolar. He knew going into the relationship long before they were married that she had a mental illness. But, he loved her, and that was all that mattered.
I think life has an uncanny way of unfolding as it should. And, when the time is right, love will find you.
Take care of yourself.
Tamara
poster:TamaraJ
thread:461021
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20050212/msgs/461755.html