Posted by jlynne on February 10, 2005, at 20:41:33
In reply to Long distance...why's and more why's!!, posted by jay on February 9, 2005, at 16:52:52
Jay, I understand your impatience to get on with this relationship; you have been a long time without the comfort and warm feelings of a physical relationship. Feet on the ground, dear . . . be prepared that this might not turn out to be "the one". And, if it's not then you take what you've learned and move on . . . and that is okay; you don't want to force a relationship that won't hold up - right?
If it is, indeed, "the one" then it will grow and develop as you learn more about each other and gain trust. You can be a tremendous support to each other just by accepting each other "AS IS".
The distance thing is a killer . . . Ron and I have had to deal with 3,000 miles between us. But being forced to communicate with words (as opposed to touching, holding, etc.) helped us to feel safer in being totally honest with each other about our issues. The physical relationship evolved out of the emotional/spiritual relationship that we created(it was six weeks on the phone before we even met!). I would suggest "gentle nudging" on your part, Jay . . . and the reassurance to her that it will be okay if she decides she needs to wait. Just make sure that you are both on the same page, as far as what you have and where you want to go with it.
Here is a link to an interview with Harville Hendrix, author of "Keeping The Love You Find", that I mentioned in an earlier post. The interview itself is good reading. http://www.divorcemagazine.com/cgi-bin/show.cgi?template=article&state=@state@&article=relationships/harvillehendrix
(((cyber hugs)))
. . . jlynne
poster:jlynne
thread:455562
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041223/msgs/456077.html