Posted by AdaGrace on November 9, 2004, at 23:21:20
At what point does it ever seem to get better?
When do I feel like a person again?
When do I feel attractive, smart, worthy of love?
When do I stop feeling like nothing, empty, nobody?
When do the lies stop twirling in my head?
Why does it hurt so much and make me want to die?
I cannot see two feet in front of me, and all that I do see makes me want to scream........
It's not me!!!!!! This is not me!!!!!!!!
I once was happy, or at least I thought I was.
How could I let someone make me feel this torn appart?
How did I let myself open up only to get stomped on again?
You see, there is a reason I wouldn't let you in at first. The heart that you stole was broken already.
There is no such thing as true love is there?
No such thing as soul mates........
No such thing as happyness......Only the ones deserving get that.......
And I am not deserving.I am in such a $*%*&^(&&*$(^(*&_)&**()(+_)(+
funk. I cannot seem to make myself feel better.No sex.
No tenderness.
No love.Don't touch me, I neither want it, nor do I ask for it, and I certainly don't deserve it.
But that is because I won't allow it.
I don't think I will ever allow it again.Being such a horrible person really takes a toll on someone..........
It's hard on the mind, body and soul when you realize you have ruined your life, because you though you wanted what you couldn't have. You ruined your life because now, noone can ever get to you, noone can ever get inside and know the real you, you keep that hidden with booze, false laughter and so many many lies.
Are you okay? is something wrong?
No nothing, absolutely nothing.
poster:AdaGrace
thread:414068
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041106/msgs/414068.html