Posted by merry on October 23, 2004, at 8:39:18
I'm so lonely. I've been trying to help my boyfriend adjust to the fact that I have bipolar II and that it's not going to go away and he doesn't seem want to hear that. He seems to be distancing himself from me and I feel him pulling away from me. I already lost two husbands because of this dreaded disease and I HATE IT!!!! I have 3 children. One just went off to college so now I am left with two at home. I feel that when they get ready to leave I will really be alone and I will be left with no one and that scares me. I don't want to be alone. I fill my house up with animals. Dogs,cats,birds and rabbits so that maybe they can fill the void and emptiness I feel inside. They help to a certain extent. I also Isolate myself from other people. I don't know why I do that. I don't have many friends. I used to be very popular in high school and I was always very much liked by my coworkers when ever I held a job. I just sometimes feel a need to drop off the face of the earth and hide away. I want to call him and ask him if he wants to break up the relationship. I want to ask him if my illness is too much for him to handle. I don't want him to stick with me because he feels sorry for me. I don't even know if I even love him. I just settle because I don't want to be alone. I am thankful for having a place to express my feelings. I'm not crying anymore. I'm feeling a little better now. Merry
poster:merry
thread:406324
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20041015/msgs/406324.html