Posted by saw on October 6, 2004, at 4:20:31
My 6 yr old son has ADHD combined. After doing some research, I can now understand why little things like getting dressed can take so long. I have done all the "physical" things to make life easier for him. I have cut the labels from his clothing. I buy him zip up tops instead of pullovers. I have uncluttered his room and help him to keep it tidy. I watch his diet. He earns money to open his first bank account by getting points on a roster system that I drew up for him. I did this to try and help him with his daily routine and behaviour.
OK, so I have covered the basics but I am failing miserably at being patient with him. I try my utmost to be tolerant but when he doesn't do things quickly enough, I just blow up at him. Shouting at a kid with ADHD? Yeah - that helps!
He chatters on INCESSENTLY and I have caught myself screaming at him to shut up. He makes my head spin, it's just too noisy. How can I expect him to understand my mind needs peace and quiet to exist?
I have tried all the parenting advice, tips and learned skills and nothing seems to be working. He defies me time and time again. He has little respect for me.
I do praise him very often. Even for things considered by most to be normal. For example, if bathtime happens without a fuss to get him there and then a fuss to get him out then I thank him and tell him how nice it made me feel. Before ADHD I would tell him that he didn't do anything extraordinary, it's the way it should always be done.
My relationship with him, or more importantly, his relationship with me, is going to suffer in the long run. I have such an intolerant personality and don't know how to eaze up within the bounds of discipline and within what is right and what is wrong.
Academically, he is very smart and medication has helped him settle down enough to complete tasks. Emotionally, he is smart to a certain degree and I think picks up on more than I realise. I am terrified of what my depression and anxiety are doing to him. I don't know how to instill a sense of normalcy in his life.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Sabrina
poster:saw
thread:399491
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20040917/msgs/399491.html