Posted by rjlockhart37 on May 5, 2020, at 1:50:20
i've been having dreams that i'm still graduating from high school, i dream that im still a senior getting ready to graduate, i keep seeing my high school name, right before we all headed out int othe world. 2005 - that time i planned on being an investor, and had some kinda of plan to go into the world. It's funny but there were alot of obstacles or things that happened, that from there i just progressed, and did went to acting school, and headed out in diffrent directions. But i keep having that same dream of that time, 15 years ago, when it was all beggining. It was a sad time, to see when i was teenager, to see all these people, i went to the race tracks, you know where you bet on hourse races, huge stadiums, my dad took me there when i was around 17, i saw all these other dudes working on car hoppers and when i saw that i saw a part of desire to be like them or be friends. It was a hard time during teenage years, but i freqeuntly go back into dreams, seeing my high school name, had a dream that i just got out, and was still lingering around, around 2006. If i try foget all this, it will always come back. No matter what i choose to do with life fromm now on, i will still go back to that original ime i planned on being a investor, stock broker....in 2005. I rerember talking with these dudes, before granduation what we were going to do with our lives. It was an intresting an memorable conversation. I keep going back to that time, in my dreams. No matter what i do, i feel i need to go back and finish what i oringally planned, or else it would haunt me that, that period of timem is still there waiting for me to go out, what i orignally planned. All of that now is distant memory, everyone i knew back then....gone. You know, staying and thinking about what im going to do from now on. I still feel that dream of just startin out, in 2005. That it was a unfinished memory. Try to forget about it, still i can't get rid of it. Whatever happens from now, these times are the end times, those dreams of going back - there vanity because the world is changing into new world order, there's no way go back. I've drifted into a state where i've grown, and seen things diffrently. My posts here from 2005, all i did was complain and make a big deal about stuff that was happening during that time. It is not, at all in my mind to ever it again. Living in the pats, is a common term. All these therapists, and phsycholigst know it as well known term. My say on it, its a frequent memory to go back and finishn what i suppost to do at that time. No matter hwat i do from now on, those memories of back then still linger around. Like a part of myself that was unfinished, and that all of this happened was an alternate timeline.
anyways, i just had to write that out, there's not much to respond on this but i needed to write that out, can't hold it at all.
end of log....
"There comes a time in your life where you have to choose to turn the page, write another book, or simply close it"
-Shannon L Alder
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1109964
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20200305/msgs/1109964.html