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Re: Delusions » baseball55

Posted by 90%there on February 5, 2015, at 9:50:56

In reply to Re: Delusions, posted by baseball55 on February 4, 2015, at 20:13:09

> When very sick and under major physical stress, people do become delirious. I was hospitalized many years ago with meningitis and have very clear and vivid memories of crazy stuff. Delirium. Maybe this was the cause for you. I mean, you were clearly very ill if you needed intubation and 2 weeks in a hospital.
> I doubt very much that the things you thought were happening were actually happening. Even your sense that the other person in the room was experiencing the same things may have been delirium.

Yea you're probably right. But that last night. I swear that he was hearing same thing as me. The nurses other Doctors were acting accordingly to the situation too. Nobody spoke ecxcept one other doc. Occasionally a nurse would pop out from behind a curtain and seemed to deliberately offer help to the doctor whilst he carried out his deed, as if to show positive interest, when really just covering their own backs. Getting in the crazy doc's good books. The ONLY suggestion that someone gave me was that maybe someone went into cardiac arrest. But I don't buy that.
Another thing. When I became breathless at the start before the ambulance got there, I was still conscious. I had a big row with my father before he walked out. Thats when it happened. So why not give me a paper bag? could have been out in a few days. Also my kidney function went as low as 10-15%. Why? When I awoke a catheter was already fitted. At one point a doc seemed to be trying to 'fix' my kidney. All I felt was painful zaps to my bladder area. Kept telling the nurse it was the catheter but of course they knew best. Until, as a seemingly last resort they took out the catheter. The pain went. Then I started eating. Bit of a blunder on their part maybe? I'm sure I heard the doc say "wish I never bothered now".
I'm willing to forget it all. But it keeps popping up frequently. I'm already severely depressed and my social anxiety is hi too. Want this memory to leave me alone. But how do you talk about a 'delusion'? As you can tell, it isn't easy. I have no problem chatting about it, but putting it into words is hard.


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