Posted by Omidak on September 3, 2014, at 12:21:45
I'm just wondering what it could be with me. It doesn't fit bipolar somehow (and I don't have the diagnosis anyways). they say it's schizophrenia but i cut back my zyprexa from 30 to 5 mg a month ago and nothing psychotic happend (get too agitated if I don't take it at all though.) I also went off effexor 150mg, topiramat 300mg and another horse killer tranquilizer not available anywhere but Germany cold turkey at the same time and still nothing happend.
I'm just wondering whether I have rather non-chemical stuff going on with me.
my problem is that i have mood swings, NOT. I don't have mood swings. I have incosistency of personality. my personality and wishes and behaviour changes and alters on a daily basis. today, I'm not depressed at all, but I feel like a completely different person with different wishes, different attitude, mindset and all that. yesterday i was a teenager today I'm a grandpa.
This makes life really hard on me because I want to decide what to do with my life, job and education wise, and I cant decide because every day I'm literally suited for totally contrasting jobs and lifestyles. Like yesterday I thought it might be a good idea to go to university where i have people around me but today I'm back to (trying) to do 3d-art from home all alone. And I can't even imagine why I would decided to be social yesterday because today I'm a completely different person and can't understand my motives from yesterday.
obviously, I can't be considered crazy. lerning programming at the university isn't necessarily a crazy idea, neither is being a 3D artist working from home. my thinking, speech, reasoning are all intakt, even much more so than some people around me who are considered healthy. but I feel like I have something like multiple personalities or a changing personality for some reason. I'm very much aware that dissociative identity disorder is not what I'm describing here, but if I had to choose between schizophrenia, bipolar and DID, DID would be the best choice kind of.
what do you think about this? is it DID? what is this?
I must add that my mood, personality, feeling, whatever changes DRASTICALLY when I go to different places. like I was recently in my home country in the middle east and I was a whole different person. Also when I went to london i felt quite different, in a good way. but now back in germany i feel bad and I also have no recollection of what and how I was in my home country or london. I cant even remember the details. DID?!
poster:Omidak
thread:1070709
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1070709.html