Posted by Willful on July 3, 2014, at 1:42:16
In reply to Re: And this is why I don't post on this board. » Dinah, posted by baseball55 on July 1, 2014, at 20:31:54
I value tremendously what each of you says-- even if at times I feel put off or offended, or critical also of what each of you says-- and don't have the generosity that would allow me to be more accepting. We all know, at better times, that these feelings mostly speak to our own limitations-- our own internal struggle to be the most important, or the most loved.I really feel profound empathy for Dinah in the struggle to cope with her therapist's abrupt and annihilating abandonment--- and I believe she's entitled to our respect and understanding for having survived and having been able to see and talk to her therapist now. That must have been incredibly difficult. Even if we all know, too, that her therapist is merely human, and that he probably, as a limited human, being did his best-- that best was still very destructive for Dinah. So, in the end, it doesn't matter how we imagine we would have felt or handled it-- what matters here is what it meant and did to Dinah--
Even if I do understand that we all wish-- for Dinah's sake-- that she would not have been so devastated-- that she could say-- ah well, he did and is doing his best-- and that this could have partly soothed the pain. It's so important to try to remember that we can only accept that this is too painful for her, and the loss of trust was too deep-- and that we are powerless to do much except offer our experiences and thoughts not as reproaches, but as wishes for her.
And yet something about this has touched off a hidden pain in PC-- coming from a history that none of us really understands-- of being devalued and unrecognized-- and baseballs' struggle to control her neediness, her sacrifice of some of these longings-- at what has undoubtedly been a great cost. We each are caught up in our own struggle -- and each struggle is different-- and now, these difference histories and struggles are pushing us apart.
I just wish we could all hang in there- and not feel that need to walk away, or write one another off-- no matter what. But then I too have a way of writing people off at times-- to help me feel in control.
My hope is that each of us, when we do feel that this is the final straw, will wake another day to feel that we again can take a chance on one another. Even if we sometimes are bitterly disappointed.
Emsam.
Abilify
Provigil
Rilutek
poster:Willful
thread:1067471
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1067827.html