Posted by NKP on January 7, 2014, at 2:10:20
MY PHYSICAL AILMENTS
I have post-herpetic neuralgia on the left side of my head from an episode of shingles I had many years ago. Post-herpetic neuralgia is (sometimes intense) nerve pain caused by permanent damage to the nerves in the area of the shingles outbreak. In my case, I am usually pain-free, except when I push my body to its physical limits (such as getting too little sleep for several nights in a row) or when I have emotional stress; the pain then comes back for a few hours perhaps.
I also have a patulous Eustachian tube in my left ear. A patulous Eustachian tube is one which does not properly close when it should. In my case this manifests as (1) my voice sounding very loud to myself, (2) a feeling of fullness in my left ear, as though it is blocked, and (3) ear pain. I do not have this permanently; it comes and goes from time to time.
INVESTIGATIONS INTO THE WORK OF CARL GUSTAV JUNG
Some time last year I became impressed with the work of Jung in relation to synchronicities. I set out to learn more of his work. I went to a book store one day with the intention to buy a Jung biography because I enjoy reading biographies and I find them a useful way to learn of the subject's work. At the book store I had a curious experience. I walked to the psychology shelves - shelves where I do not normally browse books - and like a heat-seeking missile I instinctively moved straight towards a certain part of a certain shelf. And there, right before my eyes, was a Jung biography (see the link below for a photograph).
http://imageshack.us/a/img842/1025/yo97.jpg
Of the thousands of books in their psychology section, it is remarkable that my attention moved immediately to the one part of the one shelf where a Jung book was to be found. It was as though the book had drawn me to it; it was waiting for me. I afterwards asked the store if they had any other Jung books; they did not have any other Jung books in stock. This one book on this one part of this one shelf was their only Jung book in stock, and I moved straight towards it by instinct.
In modern times, many people dismiss the ideas of Jung, but the fact is that in his day, when there were no effective medicines with which to treat psychiatric and psychological illness, his reputation for curing "incurable" mental illness was such that he attracted patients from around the world who came to him for help as a last resort.
One of the things I've been picking up in this book is the importance of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind constantly expresses itself through conscious acts and processes that may often seem irrational.
BLUE JASMINE
The other night I went to see the movie Blue Jasmine with my girlfriend. Blue Jasmine is the story of a wealthy New York socialite who loses all her wealth and social status when her husband is convicted for running illegal financial schemes. The movie constantly juxtaposes scenes showing the "old" Jasmine (wealthy and socially connected) against scenes showing the "new" Jasmine (struggling financially with no social network to which she can relate); the scenes showing the old Jasmine are a visual feast of beautiful decor, clothes and jewellery.
Immediately after the movie, I phoned my mom to hear how she was doing. I used to often see movies with her but now that I live far away and my social circumstances have changed, I don't go out to watch movies with her anymore.
THE RESTAURANT
After the movie we ate at a restaurant. It was a nice restaurant; they played no background music. It always irks me when restaurants play too-loud background music to create ambience and atmosphere; more often than not; the music simply forces people to talk louder than they otherwise would, so that they can be heard by others at their table; eventually the ambience of the restaurant is nothing but a noisy cacophony.
While in the restaurant, I noticed a family (father, mother, two children) sitting at a table behind my girlfriend. I wondered to myself: how will I ever be able to start a family on my salary?
MY SUBCONSCIOUS MIND EXPRESSES ITSELF
At some stage during the evening, while in the restaurant, I suddenly started developing quite intense pain on the left side of my head. It took me a while to understand the cause of the pain; it was a combination of post-herpetic neuralgia and a patulous Eustachian tube. It is quite unusual for both types of pain to occur simultaneously in me.
Since I'd had enough sleep during the previous nights, and since I had no obvious cause for emotional stress, I wondered why I was experiencing this pain. From what I'd read in my Jung book, I realised that this pain may be my subconscious mind expressing itself. So I decided to try to understand any possible subconscious trigger for this pain; I became my own psycho-analyst.
THE ANALYSIS
After thinking about what had happened over the course of the evening, I eventually settled on the following three explanations for the pain I had experienced:
1. I felt guilty for enjoying myself at the movies while my mom was at home. Going out to see a movie used to be an activity I did with my mother. I have a very close bond with my mother.
2. The scenes in Blue Jasmine caused me concern: on my salary, how will I ever be able to give my girlfriend and future wife the lifestyle I'd like her to have?
3. The family in the restaurant caused me concern: on my salary, how will I ever be able to start a family?I felt very relieved afterwards. Understanding my emotions was a liberating experience.
POSTSCRIPT
A few days after this incident, I began to develop the symptoms of a cold. The pain on the left side of my head may have been an early sign that my body was fighting against a virus and that my immune system was taking strain. Yet the exact timing of the onset of this pain, in the context of what had happened during the evening, strikes me as remarkable. After this evening, the pain on the side of my head has not yet returned again, even though I now have the full symptoms of a cold.
poster:NKP
thread:1058024
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1058024.html