Posted by Dinah on November 1, 2013, at 8:07:05
In reply to Re: Thinking we are special » SLS, posted by Partlycloudy on October 30, 2013, at 15:27:44
> Are we not genetically almost identical to almost all the other people in this world? Experience shapes us, Scott. But at the core, we are more similar than we are different.
Didn't you say that your contractor understood how important it was to you to have your kitchen finished quickly? Wasn't there implicit in there that he should respect that need? Do you and your husband deal with the disorder the same? Should your contractor try to get your kitchen done because you are upset by the mess or because that was what was contracted, and you won't pay him if it isn't complete in a timely manner? If indeed deadlines and monetary inducements were included in the contract.
Most of our genes are indeed the same. If I remember correctly, we share close to 99% of our genes with chimps. The excitement and flavor of life are in the differences.
Yet there is also value in noting out commonality with all others in the world, and with many others who are similar to us. We are indeed much the same, and we each deserve respect and as far as possible to have our needs respected.
In other words, I think you are totally entitled to avoid group vacations, ask your husband to try to slow down his pace, and require that renovations be done quickly and with as little disruption as possible. Even if you feel group cohesion with your fellow travellers, husband, and contractor (among all the others of the world) and try to be respectful of them as well.
If that makes sense. I am trying to validate both your individuality and needs and your similarity to and identification with society as a whole.
I don't mean this as disagreement with your idea that we are not special or unique as human beings. While also agreeing that we as *a* human *being* have needs that should be respected, and not all our needs are the same.
So my husband goes out frequently without me to groups he enjoys because he feels more need for community than I do. And I do things with my dogs alone, because he could not possibly care less. But we also enjoy being together and spend much time together because we are really very similar.
poster:Dinah
thread:1053331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130930/msgs/1053511.html