Posted by alexandra_k on August 30, 2013, at 20:07:38
In reply to Re: making things worse, posted by alexandra_k on August 30, 2013, at 19:48:32
I have learned that I function best where I can put myself somewhere pleasant where I can't see or hear other people.
That cost money. It costs money to have the power to keep other people out. And you do need to put up barriers to physically prevent other people from trying to capture your attention. Because if people try and capture your attention and you make it clear that you do not value their presence you want them to go away then they will turn on you.
And that is what repeatedly happens for me. People do not back off when I signal that I need them to back off. Then they have shown me that I can't trust them to back off. So then I don't want anything to do with them because I've learned that they are not safe people for me to be around. And then they detect that I do not want to have anything to do with them and they turn on me.
Apparently I'm supposed to compromise. Pretend to be happy to see other people when I'm not happy to see them. Then they get whatever it is that they need / want and then they will go away again. So I have to do what they want in order for them to let me have what I want. I need to work at half pace - acknowledging the succession of efforts to capture my attention 'oh hello you are back again!' 'oh my you seem to have a nasty phlegmy cough!' 'oh do your feet hurt the way you drag them about the place!' 'oh, you went out for 10 minutes but YAY you are back again!' 'is your mother the only person who told you you could sing - awwww i wonder why that might be!' and so on. until... my work doesn't get done. but that is cool. y'all will look after me. i can just be that person who is forever. always. happy. to. see. you.
ugh.
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poster:alexandra_k
thread:1049633
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130807/msgs/1049954.html