Posted by rjlockhart37 on February 18, 2013, at 22:25:45
i havent posted much on this board but i wanted to drop in and discuss something
I've had couple dreams of people coming to rescue me out of my helpless state...not in reality, but more how i feel deep inside...no matter how much i talk about it, think about it, or go out in life and get it fulfilled, its still there...these dreams are sorrow filled, like im some little kid whos lost and screaming for someone to come. But im 25....im still living at home ... and the reason of living at home is because 1 its safe, 2 i don't run a risk of getting rebuked or humilated by someone 3 its a place to let be at peace and put my plan together how im gonna get out in life. Just the fact that i can't open my heart up to someone causes me to be bottled up....because there's a big risk of rejection especially when i let myself be vunerable, which is in my dreams and when im alone at night.
You know i've been posting to this site for 10 yearrs...i've had pity parties, false SOS's, couple trolling posts, attention sekking stuff and making everything dramitic. But now, im posting only of who I am sitting behind this screen...im simply a 25 year old who is afraid, and scared of people and can't connect due to some disabilities. All i wanted was friends, not to sit at home and be scared and hoping someone will come and pick me up and take me under their wing. But its not a real thing...that's not gonna happen, its not real, its a fantasy.I can't really explain it well, i just want to be barried safe in someone arms. But anyways i made it to where i comfort myself, yet it doesnt work vary well....
being at parties, the prom, career events...just anything that envolves working with people....i never want to feel lonely again...
i just wished i could find someone who can relate...but this is something that is my own problem.
but that's all....don't feel sorry for me...because it will create more sorrow and a burden to think about....
thanks for reading friend...
r
not a scholar but understand distress
Med:
Prozac 60mg
Lamictal 200mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Nuvigil 250mg
encourage you to avoid false beliefs
poster:rjlockhart37
thread:1038401
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120922/msgs/1038401.html