Posted by Twinleaf on March 22, 2012, at 13:39:04
This sort of follows on the thought I had about what Daisy might do in her impasse. My T, once again, suggested on Monday that I just "be" with him. He said that I could, of course, say anything I wanted to, but that I could also choose to remain quiet. Because he's an analyst, I have always had the strongest feeling that I had to say as close to EVERYTHING as was humanly possible. Looking back, I think that was very useful, as, together, we really got to know what my beneath-the-surface problems really were.
But now we are somehow, emotionally close to the deprivation I suffered from my mother's hospitalization for post-partum depression when I was born. Of course, we always knew that was central, but now, five years later, I am so much closer to how it really felt. I think my t just intuitively senses that words can't begin to describe this experience, but that non-verbal types of communication can come much closer. I am finding that he is right; it's as if a very young part of me (newborn) is experiencing what it is like when a vital person is THERE, and you start to believe that he won't go away. This sounds almost trite when I write about it, but it is tremendously moving and powerful when it is happening.
I have to say I love it- an analyst who doesn't want you to talk! It takes years of talking to get to that point....
Some lovely personal news: my son and his wife are having a second child in September. We are hoping so much for a girl, but don't want to say so in case it isn't!
poster:Twinleaf
thread:1013630
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120217/msgs/1013630.html