Posted by Solstice on January 8, 2012, at 16:33:47
In reply to Re: Ideal client » Solstice, posted by sleepygirl2 on January 8, 2012, at 14:36:12
> It has been my experience that many therapists forget that therapy is for the patient and not the therapist.
It appears Julie Hanks does...
> They spend a lot of time excluding those not "appropriate" for therapy as they'd like to do it. "ideal" circumstances however, don't often come along.
> I get it though. Perhaps a therapist wants to have experiences in their work in which they feel effective, where they can see a benefit.
> It could be about recognizing their own limitations, a quality of life for them.Might not be apparent, but I did have those kinder interpretations in view as I considered my very strong reaction to her article. I think that the things you mention here are important, and can certainly have a bearing on whether a therapist refers a client to someone else. I think it's important for a therapist to know what they are good at, and what they aren't. They should be aware of how their therapeutic style fits with various client issues or disorders. And I think it's especially important that a therapist balances their caseload so they don't have a bunch of clients with complex/time-consuming issues that overly taxes the therapist, which can lead to burn-out.
The problem I have with Hanks' article is that it reads like a list of the attributes of a relatively psychologically healthy person that might just be looking for guidance on how to handle a parent who has gotten old and cranky. I doubt many people who have been through serious trauma or who have a serious mental health diagnosis would meet her criteria.
I have a problem with there even being 'criteria' like that. I don't even like the term 'ideal client.' I mentioned that I was in a toxic therapeutic relationship - for about 3.5 years. That was before I got with the therapist I have now. Anyway, I'll never forget a story Mr. Toxic T told me (and he's a PhD, mind you). I think I was attempting to tell him that something about our relationship wasn't working.. that there was some negative transference on my part at least (only I didn't know those words then). Anyway, he told me a story about a man coming to see him.. a guy in his late 20's who was very depressed. Toxic T said that during their initial first few appointments, the man noticed the numerous photos around the office with his beautiful wife and two adorable children in them. The client told Toxic T that he felt great agony about his failures with relationships, and looking at those pictures, particularly the one on the table right beside him (the client) that was in clear view, brought to the surface his acute pain over the abuse he suffered at the hands of his own parents. He asked Toxic T if it would be possible for him to lay that picture face down while he was in for his session. Toxic T said "I told him that I would not make any changes for him, and that if it was a problem for him then I probably wasn't the therapist for him." That struck me as so terribly unkind. He said the man never came back. Toxic T seemed very satisfied with what he had done. I just kept thinking about how easy it would have been for him to put the picture face down and say "I am so sorry that you have experienced so much pain in your family of origin, and I want to help you heal yourself to the point that the pictures I have in here of my family do not cause you pain."
Anyway, I just think that people who have been traumatized and are in great pain do not need therapists who fantasize about filling their practice with 'ideal clients.'
> That being said, I'll look at that ideal client stuff again.:-) And her article might not strike you like it did me. I know that my experience in toxic therapy plays a large role in how much her article affected me.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:1006540
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1006708.html