Posted by annierose on November 20, 2011, at 17:47:59
I typically feel a little melancholy on Sundays. When I was a little girl, I would see my grandma each Sunday for a big Italian pasta dinner. She loved me in a way a little girl should be loved. I felt her love surround me. She died young; I was 13 years old.
It wasn't until years later that I connected my Sunday blues to missing this wonderful person in my life ... the only person I can say with confidence that loved me no matter what... no matter that I have a ton of energy, talk too fast, eat too fast, am a "handful", etc. etc.
This evening, the hole in my heart is widening. Probably because I'm in a marriage that feels so empty - despite my husbands best efforts "to fix it". I have a 13 year old son that is in the "pushing mom away stage" (that I totally get and don't take personally 90% of the time) and my daughter just got accepted to college (so I'm already beginning to miss her too - even though she still has her senior year of high school to get through).
Therapy tomorrow - I am looking forward to having someone to help me with these feelings.
Oh - and Thanksgiving with my dysfunctional family of origin - and a bad dinner at that. I wish I could cook a wonderful meal for only the people I love and celebrate the family I created outside the biology. Maybe I'll plan that for another day.
poster:annierose
thread:1003239
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1003239.html