Posted by Solstice on November 11, 2011, at 20:57:22
In reply to Re: Need Advice *****Likely Trigger*****)Everyone, posted by TherapyGirl on November 11, 2011, at 13:03:52
Maybe she doesn't know enough yet to know what she may, or may not, need to apologize for? Maybe she's hoping that you'll decide to at least give her a closing conversation, since that will give her an opportunity to repair it, and even if that doesn't work, at least she will learn from it for the future. Since she's asking for your feedback on what took place, I think it would be therapeutic for you to be heard on this - even if it doesn't work out for you to continue to see her. It would honor your effort in the therapy.
My own therapist would have responded similarly. I remember one time, I had been so pained by a breach in the relationship, that when I texted my therapist about it and my T called me, I couldn't answer the phone. T called again later, and I accidentally answered. So I didn't hang up, but I was in so much pain that I wasn't able to speak. T thought I was probably there, and really went out on a limb just talking to me. T must have talked 10 minutes or so without hearing me say a single word. My T eventually closed the call, without my having ever spoken a word. T just gave me repeated assurances that we could work it out together. Last thing T said was "I will be there for our appointment tomorrow, and I hope I will see you there." I showed up, and we worked it out. For me, the repair of the breach further cemented the therapeutic relationship.
Solstice
> I decided last night to send T an email telling her we had taken action while not describing what the action was. Real or not, I started worrying that she would call Protective Services and/or the police and give them MY name. Below is the email exchange. I *hate* those non-apologies.
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> > Just wanted to let you know that action was taken today regarding what we discussed yesterday. I also feel I need to add that I'm pretty uncomfortable with the way that played out between the two of us. I'm not sure I can come back. For now, I'd like to cancel the appt. next Tuesday and then let you know after Thanksgiving what my final decision is.
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> Thank you for letting me know.
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> I am sorry that our discussion was uncomfortable for you. Should you decide not to continue to work together I only ask that we at least discuss your reactions. I will, of course, honor whatever you decide.
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> I look forward to hearing from you after the holiday.
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poster:Solstice
thread:1002040
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1002312.html