Posted by Solstice on October 25, 2011, at 0:05:22
In reply to Re: Funny from New T » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on October 24, 2011, at 19:05:29
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> I've also realized in the last week or so that part of the issue is that between T retiring and my father's death, I feel like I've lost my history. Or I've at least lost the people who know my history, who know ME. Especially T. That's when it is most apparent that things are so vastly different -- when something comes up in therapy and new T can't read me because she hasn't known me for 26 years.Know what, Therapygirl? You have not lost your history. You carry your relationship with your father, and your relationship with your retired therapist, in your heart. It's all there.. in You. And the therapist you've known for 26 years started out only knowing you for six months. That relationship developed over time and experiences.. and has become part of who you are. Your beloved therapist lives in you.. has been internalized by you.
The counselor you see now is building upon what your therapist spent 26 years building. It's not a replacement, and it's certainly not a duplicate. It's another verse to a very meaningful song. It will be a new and different relationship, and the affection and bond that develops will be based on very different therapeutic experiences. These two relationships are not in competition with each other. Your heart is big enough for both of these relationships to be very meaningful and important to you. You don't have to discard one to have the other. They can both exist simultaneously within you. It makes me think of when I was expecting my second child. I was so profoundly in love with my first child, that I could not imagine it being possible to love another child... until he was born and rocked my world with all of his amazingness. He was absolutely different than his sister in a million different ways. With all three of my kids, I tell them each they are my favorite. Each one has a specific set of characteristics that the other two don't have.. it's what makes them who they are - very unique. So I tell my oldest that she is my favorite ___(description of who she is)____. I tell my son he's my favorite _____(description of who he is)_____. Same with my youngest. I hear people talk about loving their kids equally, and I haven't been able to figure that out. I love them each profoundly, but very, very differently. My love for each of them resides side-by-side simultaneously. I think it can work much the same with your therapist and your counselor.
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:1000523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111017/msgs/1000766.html