Posted by Dinah on September 14, 2011, at 23:47:18
In reply to Re: When he's good he's very very good. » Dinah, posted by floatingbridge on September 14, 2011, at 23:21:36
I think he subtly tells me I'm wrong, even while managing to agree with me. Well, not wrong precisely. But overreacting maybe, or not seeing something objectively.
So... Maybe it's that he'll say something like "I can see why you're angry. It can be frustrating when xxxxxx." But his restatement of the problem isn't precisely like my original statement of the problem. The details might be correct, but the context might be subtly changed. I end up feeling validated, but I also end up seeing the situation differently. With a bit more wisdom perhaps. More perspective.
I'm guessing on how he does it. I couldn't really tell you.
It is strange because when he discusses things in his own life or abstract things, he doesn't strike me as particularly wise.You know how there are people who just bring out the best in you? It's not so much that they have honor themselves, but that when you're with them you behave with honor? Or that when you're with them you are kind? When you're with them, you feel good about yourself not because they've propped your self esteem but because you behave in the way you feel good about? There's something he does that brings me to better ways of thinking, without his making the enormous mistake of correcting me and telling me to think differently.
That's when he's good of course. Sometimes I go in feeling fine and come out a raging loon.
poster:Dinah
thread:996790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110823/msgs/996810.html