Posted by Dinah on August 1, 2011, at 11:37:07
In reply to My p-doc is back, posted by emmanuel98 on July 28, 2011, at 22:09:08
I have the same desire to help my therapist and the same knowledge that I can't really. It does hurt in some ways, but in other ways it's a good thing.
I remember how hurt I feel the time my therapist told me bluntly, during a discussion of how much more important he was to me than I was to him, "I am part of your support system. You are not, and can not be, part of mine."
But he's right. Therapy can't really work if you're taking care of your therapist. I recently reminded my therapist of what he told me, and while it was in connection with something else, I think it was partially related to the fact that something was going on in his life. I was acknowledging to myself the fact that I'd like to be a rock he can lean on, but since this is therapy I can't be. It just wouldn't work.
But that doesn't mean you can't be supportive and caring to him. Even acknowledging that you wish you could take care of him though you know you can't is a recognition of how much you care for him.
And there is more than one way to care for someone. By letting him work, you are in a sense caring for his sense of self worth by allowing him to be of use. I think it's difficult for people who are used to being independent to acknowledge weakness. My therapist once said to me that he found our sessions (during Katrina) to be very grounding to him. That one part of his life was going on as usual. When I was worrying about bothering him.
By all means, be sensitive to the fact that he may need to move around a bit more than usual, or may not be quite as attentive as usual. But you'll probably help him most by being as much yourself as you can be. Though in similar circumstances I've probably commented a time or two that I feel bad talking about myself when I know he's in pain.
poster:Dinah
thread:992203
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110706/msgs/992482.html