Posted by pegasus on June 17, 2011, at 10:14:52
I had an interesting discussion with my T this week. We were talking about the power imbalance between the therapist and the client, and how it is an obstacle for me when trying to trust him. I've heard stories about Ts suddenly dumping their clients for various reasons, and with various rules around future contact - always decided upon by the T. And I've actually experienced a T moving away without much warning, due to a family crisis. Of course, I was devastated. You just never know when/how that type of thing might happen.
He tried to say that he doesn't see our relationship that way (i.e., with him having so much more power). So, I called b*llsh*t, and asked him who decides where we meet and how long sessions are? Who decides how much I pay? Who decides how many times per week I can come in? Who would be devastated if the other one suddenly quit? Who would decide whether/how we had any contact after that?
He got it, I think. So, then I said that I would feel like I had more control if, instead of him always telling me how *he* handles these things, we could discuss them and decide together how *we* will handle these things. Surprisingly he said he was open to it!
I didn't expect that! Wow, I think this might help things feel a lot more safe.
Is there a reason that we don't experience this more often in therapy? Working together to set policies on a per client basis seems like such an obvious way to foster a therapeutic relationship.
- P
poster:pegasus
thread:988513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/988513.html