Posted by emmanuel98 on May 19, 2011, at 19:55:54
In reply to Re: Why do we want our Ts to like us? » pegasus, posted by Dinah on May 2, 2011, at 7:18:58
It mattered to me A LOT that my T liked me and I was constantly asking him this. He said he liked all his patients. That if he didn't like a patient, he couldn't work with them. So how does that work, I asked him, if you dislike someone? Do you tell them. He said he could tell within a few sessions if the relationship wouldn't work and would just tell the patient that -- this isn't a good fit.
After six years of seeing him, I feel quite confident that my T (who is also my p-doc) likes me, cares about me, feels compassion for me and even loves me in a way. It would be horrible to me if he didn't -- after all, he knows me better than anyone except my husband and I spill my guts to him week after week. If he didn't have genuine positive feelings for me, I would want to kill myself.
Most therapy textbooks say that the therapist's job is to provide genuine positive regard for a patient and if they can't do that, they can't do therapy with that patient. It's the genuine positive regard that allows patients to trust and feel cared for and experience a corrective emotional experience that they did not get with their own parents (typically -- that was certainly the case for me).
Of course, I suppose there are people who see therapists not to correct damaged relationships and self-image due to childhood abuse or neglect, but just want to bounce ideas and emotions off someone and are willing to pay for the priveledge.
poster:emmanuel98
thread:983719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110511/msgs/985735.html