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Re: Starting to feel anxious and adrift » Dinah

Posted by Daisym on April 9, 2011, at 17:57:53

In reply to Re: Starting to feel anxious and adrift, posted by Dinah on April 9, 2011, at 8:53:01

When I had a big rupture in my therapy last December, I felt like someone had scooped my insides out. And yet numb as I felt, there was this dull sort of ache and incompleteness. I was completely disconnected from myself - I walked into walls and last chunks of time. I imagine this is what deep grief around death feels like - kind of surreal in many ways.

Eventually I began to reclaim the parts of my therapist I had internalized - the best of the work we had done together was inside me. You've sometimes said that the therapist you imagine is better than the one you met with on that particular day. This is not to in anyway disrespect the loss of actually seeing him and the concreteness of that. But I encourage you to find the therapist of your memories and your growth and hold on to those whispers during this difficult time.

Because truly, what has happened can not undo all the years of work and love. They still count and it is OK to use them to help yourself.

Be gentle with yourself.

 

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