Posted by TherapyGirl on January 14, 2011, at 21:07:06
I know it's been a while. I don't know why it's so much harder for me to "drop by" here now. But it is.
I'm doing okay. Feel better physically and depression-wise than I have in years. But December was hard for me. I think the depression has lifted enough for me to feel true grief over losing my T last December. I'm okay with new T -- like her and I think we've done some decent work together, but it's still pretty surface stuff. New T says she can see the grief I feel over my T at the surface and she's going to push me some on that. And she keeps reminding me that it's okay to cry with her. Not gonna happen anytime soon though.
I miss my T and the connection with her. I never, ever imagined that I'd go a year without seeing her, which is at the very least what it's going to be. She has not made time to see me on any of her trips to my area and I finally asked her to stop telling me she was coming. I suspect she was here last month, but I didn't ask and she didn't say.
I will probably be going to her area soonish for work and she has said that we could get together then.
On the other hand, she emailed me tonight to share with me something sad that happened to her recently and she asked if she could call on my birthday. So we are working it out, but it's still so very different.
Did I mention how much I miss her? I told her that in the last call, right before Christmas, and she said, "Actually, I miss you too." I teased her about being surprised about that, but it was a good moment for us. The first time, earlier in the year, that I told her I missed her she said, "I miss the people, but I don't miss the job." I cried for days over that one.
poster:TherapyGirl
thread:976820
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/976820.html