Posted by trueself on January 3, 2011, at 11:11:46 [reposted on January 7, 2011, at 13:53:56 | original URL]
First of all, I wish all members here and Dr. Bob a happy and healthy 2011.
As the topic states, I find myself needing more and more attention from males. I didn't grow up like this but something has changed.
I was happily married at the age of 24, ya, kinda young. It lasted a while but we finally grew apart and out of love. Then we divorced two years ago to end a 12 years marriage. At the end of the marriage, we still had sex and he was nice to me, but I missed the attentin he used to give to me. We were more like roommate then sex partners. At the end, he cheated and left. Right before our divorce, a male co-worker filled in the void to flirt with me and say good things to me all the time. I was thinking about stray yet I didn't. Growing up, I always want some attention from others but it wasn't obbesive. I was in college and had no relationship for a few years and it was fine.
I had a serious LTR for 8 months after my divorce. It ended because he started drink heavily. Now I have been single for a while. Honestly, I am not looking into settling down anytime soon because I am very busy with my career and my 6 years old daughter. I have a fulfilling yet demanding career. But I found myself needing male attention all the time. What scared me was that I had my first fling this Xmas. It was good at the time but I feel suck afterward. He withdrew completely after we met twice. I was never such a woman. Did I know how this might end? Sure, a fling is just a fling. Did I expect him to be an exception? Yes, stupid me. Yes, he was hot and seemed normal but that is not the point. I am asking myself why I went ahead knowing that it was a fling. Then I am on the online dating sites and chatting with different men daily. I dont think I am truly looking for flings or sex. I recognized that I just need the attention, need men to say good things to me. Why do I need males to validate me? I thought I was very confident but I guess not. I am attractive and have nice upbeat personality so it is not difficult for me to get male attention. But I am afraid that would harm my everyday life and eventually prevent me from having a normal LTR.
I am new to this and I am glad that I found a channel to address my concerns and maybe get some advises from the support group. Please tell me your thoughts. Thanks!
poster:trueself
thread:976090
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101228/msgs/976090.html