Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2010, at 19:37:35
In reply to Re: Week 4 'In Treatment' » Dinah, posted by annierose on November 16, 2010, at 12:26:01
Yes, definitely icky. I am so glad my therapist's couch is more a love seat. I hope he made sure that the bra wasn't the only thing left on the sofa. The fact that Wendy was so wanting to do it on the couch, and then left her bra behind, makes me wonder what other ways she tried to mark her territory.
It's not so much that Adele doesn't share information about her private life that makes me think of her as withholding. It's more that she withholds *herself*. She sits there and stares like my sheepdog sometimes. Jumps and gulps when Paul makes her anxious. And seems to be quivering to make her very intellectual interpretations. She pounces with them almost.
There have been so many opportunities to contrast her style with Paul's. I'm not sure if that is intentional or not. Paul is by no means perfect as a therapist and his boundaries are pretty shaky. But even at his best, and his most boundary upholding, he gives the gift of his humanity.
So you have the contrast between Paul making tea for Sunil, something that I'd guess Adele wouldn't do, and something she seemed to disapprove of. Yet because of that, Sunil was able to open up with Paul and be vulnerable.
Paul said something to Sunil about hearing the passion in his voice when he spoke of his young love. Adele said something similar to Paul about showing passion when he talked about Sunil. Yet with Paul it sounded like something he was struck by and enjoyed seeing. He invited Sunil to see that in himself. With Adele, it was so clinical. Like a note in a medical chart.
Paul told Jesse he was being inappropriate in breaking boundaries. Adele told Paul he was inappropriate in breaking boundaries. The difference in how, and the tone of voice, was striking. Even if Paul had sent Jesse on his way, he'd have done it with humanity and compassion. While Adele was cold, and even mocking. "Are you so paralyzed you can't stand?" I've had a therapist like that. For a very very short period of time. There are ways she could have made the point equally strongly but with humor and warmth.
Paul acted like a jerk last session, particularly given that he *knows* how therapy works. But I had a bit of sympathy for him. If I was confronted by that iceberg, I'd be trying to inflict a crack or two myself. The colder someone gets, the more likely I am to act out. I'd be looking for a reaction. He got one, and to me the reaction was telling as to what sort of person Adele is.
Of course, we already know that Paul comes back, and it's a good guess that Adele will be just the right therapist for him. Perhaps she is. Perhaps she's being more abrupt and confrontational because he is who he is, both personally and professionally.
Some of my favorite moments in Paul's sessions are after the really tough sessions. He and the client will sit in silence and Paul will smile. It's something I can see my therapist doing.
For all Paul's faults as a therapist, I like his warmth and humor and ability to disarm. I think Adele has just as many flaws, and they are ones I could tolerate less.
I just do not like her. But I know that there are therapists like her, and some people find it beneficial.
poster:Dinah
thread:970379
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/971317.html