Posted by yellowbird01 on November 18, 2010, at 19:27:40
Its been awhile since I've posted here, so forgive me.. but I need to vent this somewhere.
I am absolutely fuming with anger.
My boyfriend has a niece who is 6yo. She was sexually abused by a male family friend one time at 4yo. CPS was involved and the mother (whom the child lives with) agreed not to allow any contact between the abuser and her daughter.
My boyfriend told me tonight that after a year of counseling, the child took back her story and said the abuse did not occur. I wholeheartedly believe it DID occur.. there are many reasons why a child that age would retract their story. Apparently within the past week, the child's mother allowed the abuser to babysit for the child for an evening because she was desperate and couldnt find anyone else. She also believes the abuse didnt happen since the child reportedly changed her story after a year of therapy.
This is NOT OKAY. For those who dont know, I wotked for CPS for several years (just left a few months ago). I am intimately familiar with what could happen should CPS find out the mother of the child allowed this man to babysit. The child would very likely come into foster care or be placed with a relative. My boyfriend is going to speak to his sister (the childs mother) tomorrow about this, but his plan is to approach is casually and not tell her what to do, etc.
I am absolutely fuming. My head is tingling. I am so angry. I suppose I'm sensitive after working with these cases for several years, but still. What do I do? I dont trust that this wont happen again, even if my boyfriend does talk to her. I also am not 100% certain my boyfriend would tell me if it happened again. I mentioned that if I was still working for CPS I'd be mandated to report this... he said he wouldnt have told me if I still worked there. Part of me wants to pick up the phone right now and report this. This is NOT okay. But at the same time, I know doing so will destroy my relationship with my boyfriend's entire family and very possibly end or severely damage my long-term relationship with my boyfriend as well. In the end, I feel it's my job to protect a child, even if it means ruining these relationships, but I dont want to jump the gun. I also dont want to traumatize the child any further by getting CPS involved etc if this really was a one-time incident. I'm so angry I almost feel like crying. I really liked my boyfriend's sister, but I just lost every ounce of respect I have for her tonight.
So help me babblers, what do I do?
poster:yellowbird01
thread:970701
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970701.html