Posted by B2Chica on November 3, 2010, at 14:57:48
so for those of you that remember me. Hi and i've missed you all. but i've been glad i've been away as long as i have. (means i've been depression/episode free).
but that time has come back.
i am So mad and scared today. i'm freaking out a bit.
my therapist wont email me back. last night i emailed her a drunk (wondering about life rant).
she said she was concerned and would check backwith me in the mnorning. i actually never expected a response as it was like 11:30 pm. but as of now (3:00 pm next day) she's never responded. and i just cant type any words to her. whats stopping me? i dont know. i think if someone were to ask me, i could respond. but i have 100 thoughts behind not writing her.
i need help, but she cant fit me in this week anyway,
and if she could, i couldn't afford it anyway.
I feel less than second rate.
That i'm in so much emotional pain that i cant even talk.
How do you say in an email that you heart aches for the world?
That all is fuzzy and beginning to feel completely detached from the world?
That i want to curl up in my closet in the dark.I finally called my pdoc and they cant get me in till monday. he told me last time that he would make sure i'd get worked in ASAP. as he knows my downhill is like 48hours immediate.
i dont know who to turn to...and to top it off, i need to go pick up my BEAUTIFUL children and figure out how to be a mom for tonight. Get them fed, its bath night...and all that. all when i can hardly lift my fingers to type.
I'm scared of the world.
I'm sad for the world.
My mind is coated now and dulled by fear and ache.i just need to tell someone....
HELP! i'm falling down the rabbit hole again.
PLEASE SOMEONE HEEEEEELP ME!!!!!
my pdoc is my white rabbit, i can only pray that he hears i'm making an appt and helps me get in earlier.Thanks for listening.
b2c.
poster:B2Chica
thread:968232
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/968232.html