Posted by Enigma on November 2, 2010, at 11:08:40
In reply to Re: Overly 'positive' PBS special on depression..., posted by emmanuel98 on November 1, 2010, at 21:55:42
> Chronic unexplained headaches and stomachaches are often symptoms of untreated depression. I had chronic abdominal pain for almost a year, severe pain, no explanation, tons of tests. It wasn't until I got off the pain meds and realized I was depressed that I saw a p-doc who told me the pain was probably psychosomatic. At first I resisted this, but now I know he was probably right. Even if I actually had some transient pain, I built it up in my head until it was some undetected tumor that was going to kill me. Non p-docs get frustrated with inexplicable pains. They do their tests, assume they are psychosomatic but are embarrassed to suggest a p-doc or therapist. Have you tried therapy instead of just meds? It seems you have a lot of content to your depression -- feeling you will never again have a loving relationship with a woman, etc. Maybe it would help to talk to somebody about this. God knows Boston is full of experienced therapists. I found a therapist by calling about 50 people and saying to please call me back if you're taking new patients. Only 4 or 5 called back, but of those I found an excellent therapist and p-doc. I know Boston is a haul from NH, but it's really the medical mecca of NE.
The stomach problems eventually went away on their own, and the headaches mostly did as well, and they might have actually been sinus related.. either another sinus infection, or sinusitus.. I forget if that's the same thing or not.. My headaches improved when I stopped the useless, non-working selegeline and started taking sinus pain/pressure meds (as you can't take them with an MAOI or risk dying!).
I still have odd lingering stomach pain here and there, but no way near the severity it was, and no nausea now, so it's completely tolerable. The headaches get bad sometimes, but I just keep popping sinus pills, and/or excedrine migraine and deal with it.
Oh yeah, therapists have been a complete waste of my time. I only met one good on out a a dozen or so in my life and she could only help me so much before the appointment were just a waste of time. I'm too scientific, mathematical, and analytical about certain things and once I make a determination about something, it's usually based on a great deal of "real-world" testing, probability and statistics, and so on, so the therapists just can't compete with that. They don't know how to counter argue some judgment or determination I've arrived at that took me possibly years to come up with.
Say, my "dream girl". It me 14 years to find her. Even while unhappily married, I've always been looking. Only one woman out of that entire time met all my criteria. I've been going out, socially, over this entire time period as well. I am ridiculously picky, sure, probably. No doubt. Did I meet other women I was attracted to that probably would have made me happy, yes, definitely, but sadly, they were either married, or were unavailable, or not attracted to me. So, after fruitlessly searching for my entire adult life, and a year of heavy use and experience with dating sites of all kinds, I can say with all confidence that the odds of meeting someone just like her again, who's actually interested in me, let alone would accept me with no job, my mental illness, 3 children, only disability as income (that I would now have to split with my lazy, errr, I don't want to go there, ex-wife to be), are near zero. I tell a therapist that, and they just simply agree with me or usually just say nothing, if they are smart.
I can't help what I like, what I want, and how I'm wired. The therapists seem to catch on to that pretty quickly. Friend-wise, they know the realities there too. I've been 10x the friend to anyone I've ever met in my life. It's just who I am.
I've always been there for them, bailed them out of jail (nothing serious) at 4 am, protected them many times over when they got drunk and crossed swords with another guy and almost got their ass kicked, never ever blew someone off, never ever canceled - especially at the last minute, been there when they got divorced and needed someone there when they were depressed, yet none of these things were ever reciprocated.
I've never met my match in that dept. Maybe one guy, but he moved away, so.. I always get let down, and I always get hurt, back-stabbed, lied to, etc.. I eliminated all of these losers from my life, and I'm aggression free, but also don't have a single person to go to a bar with and even talk to a woman anymore, let alone have a good time.
Many couldn't even give me 1 night a month. I even tried to change the venue to make it easy for them to see me, and still, nothing.
Guys don't seem to need another guy friend as much as I need them. Maybe it's my lack of a family that makes me need them more, that's what I always thought it was anyway. Unless a guy in unemployed, he really doesn't need other men in his life.. most men are like that anyway. Every guy I know pretty much disappeared as a woman came into their lives. That goes from age 15 to 40. No guy really made much of an attempt to keep up appearances after the "woman" entered the picture.
If I left a job, I tried to keep in touch, they never did. Eventually, I stopped trying.
I find that women seem to have much deeper bonds and much closer relationships than men do. I really envy that. Guys seem to lack the compassion, caring, empathy and so many other qualities that I seem to have, like many women have. Not sure why I have them...I sure as hell didn't get them from my parents.
Then add in my lack of interest in sports, and now forget about even being able to communicate with most men. As far as my wife's side of the family goes (which I stopped communicating with about 1-2 years ago), all they even talk about is sports. That's pretty much it. Every SINGLE get-together. No politics, no current events, just sports. Every statistic, ever stupid name, batting average, whatever, and who cares!!! Even Christmas. I dreaded these get-together's and mostly just hung around with the kids. At least I enjoyed that. Now that's gone too.
I tried classified ads to meet men and most people turn out to be some type of freak (into odd sexual practices) - even when I mention - "do NOT email me about sex" in my ad, they do anyway, or a closet homosexual, seriously, pretending to be straight, which I do NOT understand, as there are gay/lesbian forums right next to the "strictly platonic" forums, so they are cross-posting and ruining the validity of the forums for everyone. I've tried other sites, and going it alone, and that has NEVER worked, and I can do any volunteering to meet people, as any physical labor just kicks off my overheating/sweating side-effect from Nardil that I still have (even though I've been off Nardil for 2-3 months now), and I'm afraid will never go away.
Well, you've all heard me rant and rave and complain about this garbage before..
I sound like my mother. Bleah..
poster:Enigma
thread:967961
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/968059.html