Posted by emmanuel98 on October 30, 2010, at 21:03:04
I used to see my p-doc once a week for therapy. We did this for five years and I was so attached to him from the beginning that it frightened me.
Finally, last January, we ended and I gave him a thoughtful gift and card and we were supposed to meet just once every two or three months for meds.
But I came apart after 6 months of this and begged to see him again. We saw one another weekly all summer, then bi-weekly for a month or so and are now down to once a month. I find I don't miss him so badly this time. I felt like last summer, I was grieving him so badly it was tearing me apart. I hadn't really dealt with the grief of losing his caring and compassion on a regular basis.
When I started seeing him again weekly, I felt like he was angry about it. He never laughed or answered questions about himself. It seemed like he was protecting himself from me.
This week, I saw him after a month between appointments and he was so lovely and pleasant and upbeat and concerned about me. I was afraid that if I saw him this infrequently, he would forget about me, but he remembered every detail of our last visit(s). The problem now is that I love him so much it's painful to think about. I don't know what to do with all my intense feelings about him. Sometimes they make me absurdly happy, other times they make me desparately sad.
poster:emmanuel98
thread:967725
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101023/msgs/967725.html