Posted by Verloren on June 23, 2010, at 20:41:46
Having a hard time tonight.
Everything is just too out of place.
I'm trying, I've been trying to stay positive. It's for my own good.
This night it broke.
I sit now in complete darkness. I've been laying here for hours. I can't talk. I can barely move. I feel like I haven't the will to do anything. I only ate junk food tonight and then only enough chocolate to start to numb my feelings.
I have liquor. If I could move my legs I'd probably go get it.
Why did it have to break. Why tonight. I had so much to do. I don't remember what anymore.
I did call Ada. But got her voicemailbox. She called back but my signal bars were too low and the phone didn't ring so it sent her to my voicemail.
Every few minutes I listen to her message. Not for comfort. Not for solace. For errors. For stumbles, ums, and uhs. I don't know why I'm doing this. Why I'm analyzing instead of finding calm and comfort.
I tried to call her back but she was already gone.
Gone
Which is appropriate since I am ... gone
poster:Verloren
thread:952025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100529/msgs/952025.html